one-ness

i feel the one-ness when there is a heightened awareness of the interconnection of everything around me, and a deeper awareness of the interconnection of everything within me, a greater awareness of the interconnection between myself and my God.

since my first experience of this one-ness, i have consciously tried to make the most out of every chance and half-chance i got. and, finally, i realized that there are no half-chances, that all chances are chances. because God is in all things. God is all things.

but it is not always easy. sometimes, the one-ness just comes. sometimes, it doesn’t, no matter how hard i try to dispose myself.

but, most of the time, i've noticed that it usually begins with an alignment of experiences. a crucible? a transformation process? i honestly don’t know. its nothing grand or anything, in fact, it’s quite simple. so simple that i’m even embarrassed to waste unlimited cyber-space for it. but i know it has made me, on the whole, a better person. and isn’t that all that counts?

the one-ness usually begins with a triggering event--and since God is all things, doesn’t it also follow that He is in all experiences?

the event can be something so mundanely everyday: like realizing that despite being right-handed, my left has uses, too.

or it can be a once-in-a-lifetime-lifetime-changing experience: like marveling at the majesty of Lourdes in France--there is a “holy”-ness to the place which i cannot begin to describe.

or it can be an experience with people (like the “adios erap” rally before people power II).

or places (like the kai zenkoji temple in yamanashi, japan where i had to walk along a cold and pitch dark corridor in the shape of a heart).

or common experiences viewed in an uncommon way--like watching the sunset, or dancing in the rain, or moon-bathing.

and there is contemplative music and silence: where i become grateful (because of His endless gifts), selfish (where i try to become more honest with myself and ask myself what I really want), introspective (usually a replay of the experience or of other experiences of His love for me), repentant (where i selflessly admit that i am but a work in progress before revisiting my inadequacies), and, lastly, hopeful (where there is a certain “tuning in”… letting Him guide me and show me the way.)

then... i am His flute, with His breath flowing through me. i am His guitar string, unable to vibrate without making a sound.

but in one-ness, i am content. i am happy. i am at peace.

i don't think i am making sense. or maybe i just can't make sense of things.

thus, i continue my journey. i go out that i may hear the Music; and i go in so i may listen to the Tune. it is my Heart i go to find; my God i seek to know better.